im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
if only i could text you this smell
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
