O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
