im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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