Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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