Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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