i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
