can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
She's the barista slut.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
