I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
