Plan B is the new Plan A
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
