is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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