Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
