What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
vagina is talking i cant
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
