I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
