I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
