In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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