margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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