I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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