How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
