My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
