Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
