OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
