Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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