maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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