the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize