My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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