What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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