Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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