I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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