soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize