Its about making memories worth repressing
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
