new low.... made out with someone while peeing
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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