I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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