Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
