He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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