he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
