The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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