So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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