She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Dicks are not precious.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
