Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
