So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
