I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
