I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
