We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
