I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
PANTIES FOUND
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
