no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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