then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
