I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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