She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
