THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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