thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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