I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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