I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize