i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
