I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
