I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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