5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I have surprise drugs for everyone
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
